Getting on the Waka together

14 Jul

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The winter term is a particularly busy time in schools and can often be when fractures in relationships are more obvious. It can be all too easy with the frenetic pace of school life to forget that relationships need to be kept well oiled to enable school life to function smoothly and with as little disruption and conflict as possible.
Being a restorative school and being on the related contracted has made me reflect on these. Recently at a course on education and the law I noted that so many issues can be solved by being restorative and relational. So when conflict and disruptions occur what are the 3 key steps that individuals can take to restore fractured relationships?
 
Korero.
 
If there is an unresolved issue between you and someone that you lead or manage, make time to talk with and not to or at them. Every person has their side of the story that needs to be told. In the right environment, telling our story enables us to make sense of our experiences and can bring a sense of clarity and perspective.
To ensure that this is successful, you will need to find an objective’ space in which to meet;  one that allows you both to  be and assume equal status for the discussion.
Listen
 
Listening can be one of the most powerful tools that an individual can have in seeking to restore a relationship. If you are in conflict with another person and truly want to bring resolution to the relationship. I often in my coaching sessions let people talk until they get off their chest what has been going on for them.
In our busy working lives, we have forgotten how to truly listen; most of the time our minds our pre-occupied with either how to respond to what we have just heard, or the next task that we have to complete on our ˜to do’ list or what to cook for supper.
With all the PLD out there we have become masters at given the impression that we are listening, but that’s just all it is, an impression. Sometimes its not for real. You must also reflect back. Ask questions. So have a think is there any relationship that you are in at the moment that could benefit from the simple process of: Finding a safe space and time for good robust korero, listening to one another and reflect back.
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